3
Sep
“Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary, over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore… Oh what is this crap? It’s as occult as a cheeseburger. I wanted to do real magic.” Tim’s nasal whine cut through the dark room.
Jacob answered. “It is occult, it’s from the witch trials of ancient North America. The writer of this got burned as a witch. That means it was occult.”
“It just sounds like bad poetry to me. Who talks like that now, really?”
Amanda glared at both of them. “Shut up, both of you. You’re spoiling it.”
“While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, as of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door. `’Tis some visitor,’ I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door.”
“He must have been visited by a ghost!”
“You’ll become a ghost if you don’t shut up!”
Timothy and Jacob withered under the glare, and Amanda continued reading from the book of occult lore. She droned on and on, her voice flat and unemotional, attempting an Old American dialect and failing miserably.
The three teenagers sat in a room pitch black except for the dim candles at the five points of the pentagram. It was the basement of Amanda’s mother’s house, but it felt occult to the three of them. It was an old house, all concrete and steel and it never creaked once, and that always spooked the children at night.
“On this home by horror haunted – tell me truly, I implore – is there – is there balm in Gilead? – tell me – tell me, I implore!”
“Would you children stop butchering my poem and disturbing my rest! I can’t sleep with you nattering on like this! And you, young lady, that is the worst reading ever attempted. Five year old school children have done better.” Standing in the middle of the pentagram was the ghost of a dark gentleman, his forehead high and his face covered by a thin moustache.
“Who… who are you?”
“What! You’re reading my poem and you don’t know who I am? I wrote The Raven, that beautiful poem you’re butchering. Are you children really sunken that far?”
“It’s not a poem, it’s an occult spell that got a witch burned at the stake in North America!”
“Oh dear… you have fallen far, haven’t you? No history, no nothing.”
“We know our history, and we’re right! It is an occult spell!”
The ghost shook his head. “Children these days… You want occult magic? Fine. I’ll show you real magic.”
“Really? That’s great!” The children all squealed with glee.
“Oh yes.” The ghost grinned. “Your souls from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor shall be lifted – nevermore!”
Comments
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Marisa Birns on 09.03.2010
Oooh, you get them Poe! And yes, reading The Raven in a flat, unemotional drone would be enough to get any ghost up in arms. Nicely done. 🙂
The Four Part Land on 09.03.2010
The poem just sprung into my head, and I went to read it. After that, I thought the absolute best thing would be the pissed off ghost of the author slapping down children for ruining his poem. The story just followed along nicely.
That Neil Guy on 09.03.2010
Eek!
Adam Byatt on 09.03.2010
A great way to bring Poe into the modern era. And showing those young whipper-snappers a thing or two.
T.S. Bazelli on 09.03.2010
Oh, I’d be mighty pissed off too. A great ending 😀
The Four Part Land on 09.03.2010
I knew the ending of The Raven had to be the ending of the story. It just fit perfectly as a way to curse the damn children for ruining a great poem. Once I read the poem again, the story more or less wrote itself. It just fit nicely.
Vandamir on 09.03.2010
Ha! Poor Poe, being thought of as a witch and one that was burned as well. Doesn’t anyone study history anymore? America missed the burning craze, we hung our poor souls who were accused of witchcraft.
Great use of the poem. It’s one of my favorites and I memorized it for English class in high school because we got extra credit for reciting it.
One small error I must point out, since I really am a Witch: “the fight points of the pentagram” should be “the five points.” If you’re going to summon a ghost you might as well do it properly. 😉
The Four Part Land on 09.03.2010
Thanks for catching that. It’s what I get for writing the story in a hurry this morning.
I read it for the first time in grade school, then again in high school. Never tried to memorize it though.
The setting for this is some nebulous time in the future when its no longer remembered as the USA, but just ancient North America. Gave enough distance from the actual events of Salem and The Raven that the teens could be that idiotic.
Deanna Schrayer on 09.03.2010
I love this! I think I’ll read it to my kids the next time I hear a monotone. 🙂
The Four Part Land on 09.03.2010
I have had many a teacher ruin great poetry by monotonal analysis. I swear English class is designed to make students hate the great masters.
Maria Kelly on 09.03.2010
Oh, this is genius! I love that poem. Those brats deserved the EAP smackdown!
Eric J. Krause on 09.05.2010
Good story! The ghost of Poe certainly showed them. As I was reading this, I kept thinking of Bart and Lisa Simpson reading this in the first Treehouse of Horrors episode when they came to the conclusion that maybe people in olden days were scared easier than modern people.
The Four Part Land on 09.07.2010
I have to say I’ve never actually watched the Simpsons that much, so I don’t know the reference.
But reading it now, the Raven strikes me very much as being in the same style as, say, H.P. Lovecraft, where it’s about setting and mood and letting the reader scare themselves, not gore.
Laurita on 09.06.2010
Schooled by Poe! Nice chatter at the beginning between the kids, but the thought of them not knowing the poem or the author made me feel faint.