10
Aug
I walked through the city of my life, and I stopped in at the convenience store. A few moment’s search found me the drugs that I wanted, and I was off again. I flew like a kite above the urban landscape, and looked down at the parks that contained my happy memories, the devastated areas in need of urban renewal, and the prisons. The prisons… I didn’t like to remember what was stored there. Perhaps I couldn’t any more.
The drugs stole away with worry, and I pranced and danced on the thermals until they wore off. Then I stopped in at another convenience store and turned myself into a frog, and hopped down main street. No one moved here, no rush hour in my life. Instead, a lassitude overlay the city, broken only by my ribbiting.
Soon my skin began to dry, and I jumped into the local swimming pool. That ended with a thump and a yelp. It was dry and full of old trash. As I wondered how to get out, the medicine wore off, and I was humanoid again. I decided to try being human again, and climbed out of the pool and wandered around.
An explosion turned my head, and a skyscraper fell across the road in front of me. Damn construction crews. The skyscraper had broken another two buildings. I guessed they’d have to come down soon.
Clambering through the ruined building, I found every chair filled with a manikin in suit and tie. I shrugged and walked on.
After an hour I looked up from the ground. Here, the buildings were decayed, ruined facades of an older generation, their brown stones littering the street. I recognized a few, but couldn’t remember why, or what might have driven me here. I found a little boy on a corner and asked if he had something for me. The boy looked back, featureless and sightless, and shook his head. I patted the kid and wandered away.
I needed more drugs, and I wandered in search for a convenience store. It took a while, but then I was a horse, galloping down concrete streets. The ground hurt my hooves, and I neighed in frustration. The whispered breath of hot air. Damaged buildings crumbled in the distance.
I found a park and nibbled on the grass. A bum tried to ride me, but I bucked him into the dirt and galloped away. A mother screamed for her child as I thundered by, but she mattered not. My hooves left prints of burning fire, and I snorted black ash. I cantered for a wall, and then turned upwards, climbing the outside at speed. Soon I stood atop the derelict skyscraper.
The city of my life spread beneath me. Parks of brown and grey, buildings of the same shade, people faceless and crying. I was no longer a horse, and I lay down to sleep. Then the building under me was dynamited. It was a long way down.
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Alison Wells on 08.12.2010
Very striking, demands to be read again. Love the lyrical language and the loosening from reality.
The Four Part Land on 08.12.2010
The idea behind the story is that the city is his own life, and he’s slowly destroying it through the drugs. What I’m not sure though is if he has an existence outside of the city, or if that’s all there is, and he is just inside of his own mind.
The convenience stores are a metaphor of some kind, I’m not sure what I intended when I wrote them though.
@lil_monmon on 08.12.2010
A good thread runs through the whole piece. You feel yourself transitioning along with the narrator as he shifts effortlessly from shape to shape. Even the destruction and demolition seems quiet and dreamlike, like you’re watching in slow motion. Sucked me in completely.
The Four Part Land on 08.12.2010
The shapechanging from drugs was related to his mental state. That’s why the horse is actually a nightmare, a creature I thought particularly fitting. Not entirely certain what mental state or drug turns you into a frog though, I’ll have to work on that one.
Gracie on 08.12.2010
Brilliant and severe, and the language, as always, is beautiful. Frightening, excellent story.
Have you seen that movie Franklyn? This makes me think of its mc, but yours is better. 🙂
Poetry.
The Four Part Land on 08.12.2010
I cannot say I’ve had the pleasure of seeing the movie. This story just occured to me one morning, and turned out quite well.
Rachel Carter on 08.12.2010
Full of the fear and insecurity of not having a grip on reality yet humorous and entertaining too. What a trip! I really enjoyed the ride
The Four Part Land on 08.12.2010
The cityscape takes some inspiration from the way the cities of the Dark Tower act. The way king describes them is quite beautiful, but I wanted something more linked to the MC and a little more strange and funny. And so he lives inside a city that represents his internal life.
Laura Eno on 08.12.2010
Nice juxtaposition between the lyrical words and the destruction from the inside. Perhaps the ending brought him peace at last.
The Four Part Land on 08.12.2010
I have no idea what the ending actually means. It just seemed to fit the story, and perhaps it’s better for the reader to determine what happens. For me, it’s an open question.
Adam Byatt on 08.12.2010
There is a wonderful lyricism in this piece allowing the reader to flow with the change of image easily.
Adam B @revhappiness
The Four Part Land on 08.16.2010
Thank you for the kind comments.
Maria Kelly on 08.12.2010
This is a great allegory for drug addiction and it’s devastating effects on the mind. Nice description of drug-induced metamorphoses.
The Four Part Land on 08.16.2010
I didn’t really write the story with drugs as a primary motivator. They were more a tool to create the collapsing landscape of the mind, and seemed the easiest way to get there. Of course, once I started using drugs, they became more central to the story.
marc nash on 08.13.2010
Loved the psychogeography of this. Do you have the name of his dealer?
I had the image of a labyrinth of the city being in his mind, that he was wandering around, ie the city only existed inside his head, its dimensions & events determined by the drugs. Don’t know if that’s of any help
marc nash
The Four Part Land on 08.16.2010
I suppose the other visual representation of the city might be Dark City, that movie from the 90s.
The city does only exist in his mind, but it’s his life, and the buildings that are falling down, and the strange people he meets, are all memories. Usually being destroyed by the drugs.
Carrie Clevenger on 08.13.2010
I wish I had powers like that. Splendid adaption of each form.
The Four Part Land on 08.16.2010
Thanks. For whatever reason, the transformations put me in mind of the game Jade Empire and the transformations that take place in that game.
ganymeder on 08.13.2010
Very vivid description of a drug addled view of the world. Well done!
The Four Part Land on 08.16.2010
Thank you. It’s an interesting challenge, trying to cram descriptions into 500 words, which seems to be the average length of my flash. 1000 is too long, I guess.
Marisa Birns on 08.13.2010
Like Marc, I envisioned him going around in the world that was real to him in his mind. And coming down from such psychedelic drugs sure is one rough trip.
Your story is really good in its surrealism.l
The Four Part Land on 08.16.2010
I’m not sure what the comedown represents. Given that the building is supposed to be part of his memory and his life, it follows that somehow he is caught by destroying this particular one. I’m just not sure what that entails for the character.
Laurita on 08.17.2010
Really interesting piece. Poetic language used to show destrucion and chaos – quite clever.
The Four Part Land on 08.18.2010
I’ve tried poetry, and I have to say I don’t feel particularly skilled in the medium. I find flash much more conducive to my abilities. I do try and incorporate lyric elements into pieces (See City of Sadness for an example), I’m just never sure how they’re going to turn out.
Cathy Olliffe on 08.17.2010
My favourite line was actually the first one. What an idea – a fabulous idea – that if your life is a city, you can stop at a store, a convenience store no less, to pick up what you need.
Now that’s thinking.
The Four Part Land on 08.18.2010
Well, it’s more what you want, not what you need. That’s why it leads to him destroying himself. I suppose, above all else, it is a matter of pretending. He pretends that he is doing well and having a good time, while all about him his actual life crumbles. But he has a shell against the real world, and cannot see it, for he is instead a flying superman.
Rebecca on 08.17.2010
This is a fascinating tale what is going on inside this character’s head. Frightening and intriguing at the same time. Not sure if he was having a breakdown or whether the drugs induced it all. It’s sometimes good to be left with unanswered questions and wanting to know more.
The Four Part Land on 08.18.2010
It’s supposed to be drug induced. Now as to why he is on the drugs… well, that is for the reader to imagine, because I don’t have a clue.
I prefer writing stories with unanswered questions. It’s easier as an author, I don’t need to flesh out things so much. The ending, for instance. It’s not my right to choose that for everyone.