20
Apr
I’ve finished the rewrite. The story now clocks in just a shade under 104,000 words. And it’s a hell of a lot better than it was before this whole process started. For the first time in a while, I’m looking forward to editing it and getting it out the door, because now I think I have a story that’s worth publishing. Of course, I’m sure I’ll turn into a pessimist as soon as I go back for another round of edits, but that’s a long way off.
For now, I’m just going to spend the weekend basking in the fact I’ve ‘finished’ another novel. But before I go, here’s the opening page.
Chloddio’s hammer crashed against the shield of his instructor, a muffled thud as the training weapon impacted solid metal. Chloddio followed with a sweeping strike, coming in high and from the right, aimed at the side of Cavrel’s head. The instructor’s shield rose as he ducked slightly, and the blow glanced away, momentum carrying the warhammer above his helmet. Chloddio threw his strength into reversing the strike, pulling it into a backhand aimed at Cavrel’s skull. A frown spread across the instructor’s features as his weapon came across, the cloth-swathed head slamming into the haft of Chloddio’s weapon, knocking it flying.
“You are a dead man Chloddio. Again. A sweeping side-arm blow with a warhammer? I could have stepped inside and gutted you. I just chose to knock it high and then disarm you. It’s flashier, and it proves a point. Either way, you’re dead. You use great swinging strikes, building from your shoulder. I’m not a rock, and will not meekly stand still while you mine me. Those spikes” Cavrel pointed at the top of Chloddio’s weapon, lying on the dirt. “are not simply for decoration. Use them to thrust or backhand, a change of direction, anything aside from your continual hammering. Subtlety in combat will save your life.”
Cavrel paused, looking at the warhammer on the ground, then back at Chloddio. “Another thing: This is a battle, not a show. You flourish. You wave your weapon above your head as if that will inflict damage. It’s costing you here in the training ring, and it will cost you more when someone doesn’t fight fair and kicks you in the groin. At least you wear armour reasonably well. Means you’ll last a few moments more in a fight, but only a few moments.”
“Gather your gear, put it back in the armoury and go home.” Cavrel sighed. “I’ll get nothing further from you today. Remember to be here by sun-up tomorrow, we’re working on squad tactics and marching.”
“Yes sir. By sun-up.” Picking up his hammer from the ground and shouldering his shield, Chloddio jogged to the armoury, handing the tools of his new trade to the weaponsmith who prepared them each morning. Two assistants helped Chloddio out of the heavy practice armour, thick padding overlaid with metal and stone layers, added weight to make real armour feel light and free.
One of them tapped the cuirass. “You should be more careful with this, you know. It’s getting more costly to repair it or replace it.”
“More costly? Why so?”
“Well, you hear there’s been a mine collapse or two? Seems that with those mines shut down, the price of ore and the ironstone we use to make the armour is going up. Quite a bit.”
Chloddio knew the mine collapses all too well. He had been the lead safety engineer at the first, tasked with examining the tunnels and caverns for collapse, and shoring them up when there was any danger. And he’d failed. A large fall had sealed the entire mine, and killed everyone in it, despite all that he could do. And only two weeks after that failing, another mine had shut down. Owned by a friend of Joestin Hogof, the man who had once employed Chloddio.
“But that’s only two mines. There’s dozens all around Tri-Hauwcerton.”
“You say that, but it turns out most of those other mines don’t produce consistent enough quality for our blacksmiths to buy from them. There’s only six that the quartermaster approves, and two of those six are closed for months. I’m even hearing rumours one of them would be closed permanently, that the collapse fractured an underground river.”
“Which one is that?”
“Can’t tell you. Rumour doesn’t say.”
The recruit shook his head. “Well, its not me you should be worrying about. It’s all those veterans who take delight in knocking me on my ass.”
“You’re the one with the shield sweetie. Use it.”
“It’s not that easy.”
“Kid, I’ve been caring for this armour for twenty years. I know exactly how easy it is. And you just better start learning, otherwise you’ll be going out in armour that’s going to crumble. We’re using up all our repair budget keeping the real suits together. Practice armour’s at the bottom of our list.”
“Okay, okay, I’ll do my best.”
“From the looks of this, you need to do a lot better than that.”
“Enough already. I get ground down by Cavrel as it is.”
“Cavrel, eh? He’ll get you into shape. Either that, or he’ll kill you trying.”
“He can kill me as long as he doesn’t dent the armour, right?”
“You got it, kid.”
3
Apr
Chloddio has passed over the 100,000 word mark, as of this morning. Or, I should say, passed it again. The first draft of the novel was 106,000 words long, but after a long round of edits, I cut it back to 68,000 and have been writing new material to better flesh out the story.
It’s been a long process getting to this point, but the story feels a lot better for it. Beforehand, there were stretches of writing that described beautiful scenery, and left the plot mired in a sand trap. Those are all gone (or almost all), and the story is now much tighter, and with a lot more action in it.
The changes are going to necessitate another heavy round of edits, this time to make sure the old material merges in well with the new, but there are already readers going through the material to see if they can catch continuity mistakes. Hopefully, I haven’t written in too many.
So, now that I’ve added in over 30,000 in new material, where does the story go from here? Well, it gets an ending. A new one that suits all the new material. That will take another 10-20,000 of new material, but I’m sure I can do it before the end of April. And boy will that be a good feeling. Even if it means I need to start editing again.
27
Mar
Despite the rather long silence on the blog recently, I’m not quite dead, nor have I stopped writing. I’m actually under 13,000 words from the end of Chloddio, which is the next novel in The Four Part Land. The novel in question currently stands around 95,000 words written, and has been going through a fairly intensive editing process. Originally, it was 106,000 words when I finished the first draft. After two editing passes, it was 68,000.
Yes, there was a lot of useless cruft that had to be chopped and removed. Most of it describing the scenery, and day to day life. There was a lot of day to day life, and it was boring and dull. So it’s gone.
Since that second editing pass, I’ve been replotting and adding large segments to the story, and now I’m close to done. Another two weeks or so should bring me to the end of the writing pass, and then I can go back and see how much this draft needs to be edited down and rebuilt. Hopefully, not too much, because I’d like to get the book out this summer.
And, well, the other reason for my silence looked like this:
30
Jan
Yes, Breaking an Empire hit the Amazon Top Ten for Epic Fantasy. Granted, it’s in the free section, but not bad for a novella that didn’t have all that much marketing behind it.
And yes, it’s still free, and will be for a little while longer. Until Bloodaxe arrives, probably.
Just in case the numbers change, here’s the screen capture.
29
Dec
No, I am not dead, despite all appearances to the contrary. I am, I think, quite alive. However, I have been absent from this blog for almost the entirety of December. Some of that was for good reason, some laziness. However, with the coming of the new year, I’m back.
So, I suppose this is a good time to outline a few things about where I stand with books, projects, and all those other bits of writing that I’ve got going on. You may have heard about this Splintered Lands thing I’ve been working on. Well, it’s getting closer. A lot closer. The first book should be out next year, and with luck, so should the second. There’s 3 novels, an anthology, and a novella all coming. They’re written by brilliant authors, and as the time gets closer I’ll be seriously encouraging you to go check them out.
I’ve also got a short story called King Bloodaxe coming soon. Call it a “Viking” fantasy. The story’s done, and off with readers now, and you know it’s a good thing when the first reply back is “where’s the second story?”
Finally, I’m announcing a tentative publishing date for Chloddio, second book in The Four Part Land, of July 21st. It’s currently in rewrites, although I should probably say extensions. I edited the story so fiercely the first couple times that it’s fallen below the word count I’d like to publish as a standalone print novel, so I’m writing new segments to flesh out certain subplots.
For those of you who’ve read Tarranau, this story takes place at almost the same time, and indeed many of the events in one story overlaps with the other. It begins a second trilogy that will follow Chloddio the stonemage as he seeks battle with enemies from the high tundra and the burning desert, until the path ends at the gates of his city.
And now to whet your appetite, I have a little excerpt from the story. At the time of the journey, Chloddio is a freshly recruited soldier, traveling on his first patrol through the lands of Tri-Hauwcerton.
On the seventh morning past the cave, the squad descended to a valley floor, a grey and winding passage that marched west to east. The valley itself swept around in a great crescent, and the ends were hidden from view behind mountains weathered and old. It was a desolate place, with thin grass and low bracken the only plants to be see. Here, even the patrol road shrank away to a faint trace on the ground, as if nothing could make its mark on this landscape.
The patrol swept past, Chloddio eager to be gone from this desolate place. In the high mountains, there had been a savage beauty, primal nature unscarred by the hand of man. Here, though, there was just savagery, for the beauty was stolen by the howling of the winds and the whispers of the grass.
Presently Sergeant Werilc called for the lunch halt, amidst a field of tumbledown boulders that provided some protection from the wind. Knackered, the patrol eagerly set to, and Chloddio sat himself down next to Jankoaen and Verick.
“Are there people this far out into the wilderness?”
Jank shrugged. “There have been, from time to time. Mostly bandits though.”
“Every decade or so, some poor fool who doesn’t like city life and rules decides to come out here and set up a village with his friends and family.” Verick gestured at the landscape around them. “Usually they come running back after the first winter. Those that survived, anyway.”
“There’s people that do that?”
“When you have nothing, the only thing to risk is yourself. And people don’t put too high a price on their own lives when they’re beggared and starving.”
“You know, Jank, you’re just going to depress me and the young lad. Try being cheerful for once.”
“Depressing? Me? You’re the old maid nattering on about those wilding villagers. Earth’s peace, most of those are just legends, told third hand.”
“Better my third hand than your first. Since all you do is make it up as you go along.”
“Enough, ladies.” Sergeant Werilc folded himself into a seating position. “Jankoaen’s right. The last known village north of the Carns died a full decade ago. Even the tax collectors stopped trying, and they hunt down dead people. As for the bandits, well, all of us veterans fought them up here once or twice. But even those were usually further south, trying to poach the ore from the mines. Out here? Nothing. Even the army only comes this way because it’s a shortcut. And because it gives us a little mountain and outdoor training without being too dangerous.”
Jankoaen sniffed the air. “We’re cutting it close this year, Sergeant.”
“I know. Why do you think we march so quickly?” With that the sergeant was on his feet, bellowing for the soldiers to pack their food and get back onto the road.
A clatter in the rocks behind him spun Chloddio about. Standing before him was a man dressed in furs and leathers, and carrying a crude blade. Shouting a warning, the stonemage dove to the side, grabbing at his hammer and shield. The veterans were just as fast to react, as all about the camp scruffy bandits appeared, weapons and armour crude and homemade. Standing atop a rock was the bandit’s leader, and he pointed at their packs with a sword, the blade dulled by age.
“Give us your packs, your tents, your food. Everything.”
“You have got to be kidding me.”
4
Nov
I woke up to a wonderful gift this Friday morning – A long review of Tarranau by Alex Laybourne. Here’s how it opens…
Epic Fantasy is not normally a genre I read, but ever since I have started becoming serious about my writing, I have promised myself to expand my knowledge base in as many areas as I can, and the first thing I wanted to do was to expand my reading interests.
Tarranau was the perfect book to get me started, because to summarize for all of those who do not have the time to read this but would still like to hear a few words… It was AWESOME.
As you can imagine, I was super pleased. It’s such a lovely present to see on a Friday morning.
3
Oct
Now, you may not have noticed because I’ve been fairly quiet about it, but Breaking an Empire came out late last week. It’s a novella that details much of the backstory of Bedwar Barthu Dirio, and the war that built the kingdoms seen in Tarranau. I absolutely adored writing it, and, if I may, I shall quote an earlier post that I wrote when I finished the story.
Breaking an Empire was a short story I set out to write to bring Unfolding a New Continent up to the word limit I wanted it to be at before I started editing. It was supposed to be 25,000 words of backstory as to why the two main kingdoms of The Four Part Land hate one another so much. Effectively, it was a longer take on those history segments over on the main page. It turned out quite differently than that, for me. Oh, the story went where it was supposed to. I couldn’t change that without rewriting the setting. But I didn’t expect the six characters to mean this much to me. Every other time I’ve finished a longer piece of work I’ve been happy. It feels like a great accomplishment, and then with a little polish it’ll be great. This… this feels a little more like a loss, like closing the chapter on something that shouldn’t quite yet be over.
30,000 words from when I introduced them, here is the conclusion to the story of Rhyfelwyr, Locsyn, Taflen, Gwyth, Llofruddiwr, and Rhocas. I will miss them.
I really enjoyed writing these characters. So much so, that when the opportunity came, I wrote this, and brought these old Veryan soldiers back. I had to. I missed writing them so much I was willing to tweak the plot of books 5 and 6 of The Four Part Land series to make sure they could reappear. And, so, like the story says, the boys will be be back.
Now, on to the giveaway!
This one is pretty simple. All you have to do is buy a $0.99 copy of Breaking an Empire and forward the email receipt to jamestallett AT thefourpartland DOT com. The first 20 people to do so will receive free electronic copies of Tarranau, the first novel in the epic fantasy series Tales of The Four Part Land. Or you can just subscribe to the newsletter from over there on the left. Either way, you get an epic fantasy novel with multiple five star reviews for nothing! So why wait?
Where to buy Breaking an Empire - Kindle USA – Kindle UK – Barnes and Noble – Smashwords
28
Sep
I’ve been fairly quiet on here recently, and I’m not entirely sure that it’s going to change. But it might, never know. That said, I thought I’d let people know where I’ve been the last month or so, and what I’ve been up to.
The first is that since the last day in May, I have been gainfully employed. After two years getting my MBA, actually have a paycheck, and thus money, was a strange and unusual occurrence. I could purchase things simply for pleasure, rather than otherwise. Given it coincided more or less with Borders’ going out of business, this means that I am now the owner of rather too many books. Too many more books, I should say. As you can see to the right.
As an addendum to the job front, I am now in the housing market. This is a strange experience, and would represent the first property I own entirely on my own. It’s been an interesting journey, and I’m now somewhere on house 40+, in terms of those seen, but I do appear to have finally found one or two that I like. So I may, just may, have a place to call my own before the end of the year.
This would do wonders for my writing, for right now I commute an hour and fifteen either way each day. The job is worth it, but I can’t wait until I get a place an hour closer, and get two hours back each day. At least one of those hours could likely be spent on writing, and what a boon that would be for my storytelling.
On the subject of my storytelling, there are a few bits and pieces going around. I have been interviewed by the wonderful Alex Laybourne, who is entirely too kind. If you have even a moment to pop over there, please do, and show support to a friend of indie writers. Later this week, he’ll have a guest post from me on how I create worlds, and specifically where The Four Part Land came from.
Finally, and this will appear in a separate post soon enough, Breaking an Empire is starting to crop up on shelves today. It’s on Amazon and Smashwords, and I’m just waiting for it to hit Barnes and Noble before having a nice big announcement.
There’s also a few contests that just might be kicking off soon around these parts, so keep those eyes peeled. And now, back to my rather boring life.
29
Jul
In addition to my normally scheduled post today, I have a little gift for you readers. If you go to Smashwords and enter coupon code LV72P, you’ll get Tarranau for 40% off.
AND L.M. Stull is making this deal even more enticing —> Visit her blog for details on how you can snag an autographed paperback! But you’ll have to hurry – these offers only last until Sunday night California time.
Coloured Waves
A wave lapped at the shore, foam tinted red.
Water splashed as boys sprinted from the ocean, running before the surf.
Some fell, and did not rise. Others stumbled, then ran all the more.
Fountains danced upon the sand, becoming flowers for but a moment.
Flowers there would be, but not here, not yet.
Men no longer ran from the surf. They stood with shovels and concrete, waved and shouted.
They built, and the beach disappeared under their construction.
Then they left.
A wave lapped at the shore, foam tinted white.
.
.
.
.
And the second half of the double feature.
String
A string. Such a petty, tiny object. Used for mundane tasks, boring tasks. Yet it represents the universe. Ever wonder why that was the case?
Because it is string. Circular, I know. But the infinite possible actions with a piece of string mirror the universe.
Someday, we’ll understand what we see. Truly understand, that is. Right now we build theorems and descriptions and formulae, and no one really comprehends.
When measurement produces what something is, and not what something looks like, then we will know.
And upon that day, we believe.
19
Jul
The Lianese line began to slacken and turn back on itself on one side of the square, and Rhy tried to look over the combat to see what could steal their resolve, but he could see nothing. The scene resolved itself moments later, as several Lianese soldiers collapsed with daggers piercing their throats, revealing a blood-soaked Llofruddiwr standing with two of his long-knives in hand, slashing into his Lianese foes. Caught between a suddenly surging shield wall on one side and a dervish on the other, the Lianese turned back to back, fighting desperately as two of them tried to slay Llofruddiwr. He dismissed their pitiful attempts, catching each strike on his knives before batting one Lianese weapon aside and kicking the soldier in the groin. One foe incapacitated, Llof turned his full attention on the other, and in a whirlwind of cuts and slices, hacked away at the wrist on the sword hand, wounding it until it could no longer hold its weapon. Both foes rendered incapable, he stabbed each, cutting an artery and letting them bleed out.
The Lianese forces on that side of the barricade were soon finished, but two more Veryan troops had fallen, rending their total count down to nine, now that Llofruddiwr had returned to bolster them. That left those nine against fifteen of the Lianese, and the Veryan forces were exhausted. Locsyn could barely stand, having been cut along his thigh, unable to lower the shield to defend himself. Rhocas had gained a wound across the back of his sword hand, and his arm trembled each time he tried to lift the blade. Gwyth stood like a rock, but this rock bled from cut after cut, and even his prodigious strength had slowed and weakened. Only Taflen stood unwounded, for even Rhyfelwyr and Llofruddiwr had been struck. Knowing what must be done, Rhy called out “Charge!” and leapt over the barricade, followed by Llof on his left and Taflen on his right, with the other soldiers a step behind.
Rhy could feel the energy fast draining from his body as he pushed it beyond all limits, and he staggered on his third step, nearly falling to the ground as he struggled with the enemy in front of him. Only a Llof knife-thrust stopped that stumble from being the end, and in a moment Rhyfelwyr was back on his feet, his sword sweeping around in a low arc to cut the ankle of an enemy, shield held high to protect from strikes to the head. Gwyth summoned his massive strength for one last blow, and simply slammed his blade into a Lianese shield, cutting through the wood and metal to drive the tip of his weapon into his foe’s neck. Sword caught in the shield, he let it go and grasped his shield with two hands, laying about him as if it were a club.
The far end of the line was anchored by Rhocas and Locsyn, and they fought as a team, one blocking strikes, the other leaping forward to thrust through the openings created. The style of combat was alien to the Lianese troops, and two fell before they began to understand the rhythm of blows, and drive the two Veryan soldiers backwards. Stumbling, Locsyn was only just able to turn his body to catch the attack on his shield, and he saw Rhocas take a further step back, leaving Locsyn fighting two on his own. Locsysn did all he could to defend himself, not even trying to counter, only trying to deflect the strikes as they came at him. He was rewarded for his skill a few moments later when a lance of blue flame flew over his shoulder and played upon the nearest Lianese troops, incinerating the two he had been fighting, and then turning down the line to catch two more.
The burst of flame from Rhocas left the young mage in a near faint, kneeling on the ground and retching, but it had shattered the Lianese soldiers entirely, and they scattered, a few caught from behind by the daggers of Llofruddiwr, but most escaping, the Veryan soldiers too exhausted to try and follow. Gathering themselves in a tight circle, Taflen applied bandages to the various wounds, cutting strips of cloth from the dead soldiers around them. They waited there for many minutes as the sun passed across the sky, sprawled upon the ground like so many dead, their bodies shut down. Only when the sun began to touch the tops of the buildings did Rhyfelwyr stand again, and gesture the others onwards, towards the warehouses.
Eight Veryan soldiers set out, Rhyfelwyr in the lead. Another had died while they recovered in the market. Rhyfelwyr looked about and his small unit, blood spattered, staggering, and at less than half strength, and wondered why he did this. Why did he lead young men into battle over and over, only to watch them die? He feared he knew the answer: he could do no other thing, that he was such a soldier he could no longer exist outside the strictures of the army. Perhaps he couldn’t, at that.